I have had a really hard time deciding when to mark #69 on my list, figure out what happens when he graduates, as completed. Though nothing has changed recently, I think that we have completed this goal to the extent possible in the time I have left in the 1001.
The hubs has a contingency offer that should come through with a job within the next few months. We’ve been planning on that all summer. It was also pretty clear early on that he wasn’t going to be able to find a short-term filler job around here in the meantime. So we looked at our financials, and decided to take that as a bit of a buffer time. It allowed him time to work through a complete second draft of his novel and gave us a bit of time to hang out during the day at lunch and that sort of thing. While money worries do creep back in, I have been really pleased with how much we’ve been able to take advantage of and enjoy our time of limbo.
This was a really strange goal to put on my list, because it was largely out of my control. I like to think that I can help the hubs, and that we are both parts of the big decisions, but there are more factors than just us at play here. My job is rather unsecure at the moment, and we are really dependent on the hubs’ expected job to tell us what will actually come next for us. And where the next portion of our lives will be spent.
But then again, no one can map out their life through to the end, as if on a treasure map. There’s always a degree of uncertainty to the future, or there’d be no adventure to it. We’ve discussed our hopes and dreads for the next portion of our lives, and we have planned as much as we can. But there was a point beyond which we couldn’t plan, and I’ve been holding onto this goal, hoping to get past that murky point before declaring it complete. The looming end of the 1001 has forced me to admit that this decision to stay in limbo until something breaks on the contingency offer was a choice about what to do when he graduates. We decided on a career path that could move us anywhere in the country, and we decided to go with the flow until they are ready to call him in for work.
And sometimes, going with the flow is enough of a plan.
You know, I don’t flow well… But I’ve decided to stop wasting so much energy on the things I can’t control and the unknown of the future. I think it’s important to strike a balance between having a plan/being prepared and letting go. After all, (aside from the unavoidable freak outs and what ifs) shouldn’t we focus on making the most of what we have?
Well done, making the most of limbo!